Glory to God.
This week was a testimony builder. It wasn't overwhelmingly hard, I just had opportunities that reaffirmed some lessons that I think I've been hoping to solidify for a long while now.
I am grateful for a fast and testimony Sunday that helped me pause and process my feelings through the rabble of thoughts I am prone to entertain.
This week I had to write a paper for my D&C class here at BYU entitled, "Making Sense of Suicide." And I thought it would be debilitating. And it wasn't. It was hard, but it was enlightening. I am grateful for the challenge because it helped me realize the things that I had hoped for for so long were true.
My older brother committed suicide the first semester of my freshman year of college. And I fought for a long time to figure out why, what I could've done differently, yadda yadda. I quickly realized that in this life, I wouldn't understand and focusing on 'what ifs' wasn't going to make the situation any better. Because of my religious beliefs, I was often asked about my thoughts on where my brother was going to end up - some even suggested that since he had murdered himself he was going to hell. Obviously this bugged me, 1) because who is even that insensitive? and 2) those remarks always seemed to discredit God and Christ and their ability to make everything right in the end.
As I wrote this paper I realized that I didn't need a for sure answer to give to anyone who questioned me. As Elder Ballard's talk suggests, there are "some things we know and some we do not." And that is okay with me. Because the some things I know is that God is perfectly merciful. That God is perfectly loving. That He sent His Son that understands perfectly every thought, situation, individual, etc. and is thus equipped to perfectly succor, comfort, change, and glorify us. That God has manifested that His purpose is to "bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" and His prophets have decreed that everything will be made right in the end. I believe that wholeheartedly. God is real. Christ is real. We are not alone. We are not forgotten. Our struggles will be made right. And glory be to God because of it.
I am grateful for a fast and testimony Sunday that helped me pause and process my feelings through the rabble of thoughts I am prone to entertain.
This week I had to write a paper for my D&C class here at BYU entitled, "Making Sense of Suicide." And I thought it would be debilitating. And it wasn't. It was hard, but it was enlightening. I am grateful for the challenge because it helped me realize the things that I had hoped for for so long were true.
My older brother committed suicide the first semester of my freshman year of college. And I fought for a long time to figure out why, what I could've done differently, yadda yadda. I quickly realized that in this life, I wouldn't understand and focusing on 'what ifs' wasn't going to make the situation any better. Because of my religious beliefs, I was often asked about my thoughts on where my brother was going to end up - some even suggested that since he had murdered himself he was going to hell. Obviously this bugged me, 1) because who is even that insensitive? and 2) those remarks always seemed to discredit God and Christ and their ability to make everything right in the end.
As I wrote this paper I realized that I didn't need a for sure answer to give to anyone who questioned me. As Elder Ballard's talk suggests, there are "some things we know and some we do not." And that is okay with me. Because the some things I know is that God is perfectly merciful. That God is perfectly loving. That He sent His Son that understands perfectly every thought, situation, individual, etc. and is thus equipped to perfectly succor, comfort, change, and glorify us. That God has manifested that His purpose is to "bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" and His prophets have decreed that everything will be made right in the end. I believe that wholeheartedly. God is real. Christ is real. We are not alone. We are not forgotten. Our struggles will be made right. And glory be to God because of it.
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