On the Brink.

If I were being honest with you when asked, “How are you?” I would most likely respond with something like, “eh, I’m on the brink” instead of my typical “I’m doing so great, and you?”

It’s the last day of class. It’s 2 days to the submission of my thesis paper. It’s finals. It’s one week to my move out date. It’s 8 days to the new YServe council retreat. It’s 11 days until I nanny the Price’s. It’s 35 days until I get married.  

To say I’m overwhelmed and on the brink of bursting into tears at any moment is a safe statement.

But to say I’m on the brink of experiencing some of the happiest moments of my life is an understatement.

Emotions are funny because I am simultaneously on the brink of breaking down and on the brink of immense potential for joy.

I want to cry every time I think about leaving Chatham Towne. Leaving the kitchen where so many dance parties took place. Leaving the room where so many nights were spent filled with pillow talk – laughing and crying with my best friend. Leaving the historically crowded basement empty. Leaving the midnight food runs. Leaving the broken fireplace mantel without lights. I’m just not ready to leave.

I want to jump for joy every time I think about this summer. The relief from the stress of school. The opportunity to expand my friend group and learn from new leaders. The time I get to be with my parents and share a blanket with my cat. The moment that will alter my eternity; the moment I get to marry my Tommy. The day we move into our first apartment – and leave a month later for a bigger place. The prospect of last minute camping trips, late night movie marathons, and early bedtimes. I cannot wait.

Life is funny because there is so much good that can come from change, yet there is also so much heartache.

So, how am I doing?

“eh, I’m on the brink.”

As always,

Alesha